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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27007387">Baby talk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruby_slippers/pseuds/Ruby_slippers'>Ruby_slippers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Babies, Fluff, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Unrequited Love, relationship drama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:29:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27007387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruby_slippers/pseuds/Ruby_slippers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Whitney needs help and Callum is happy to be there.<br/>But can that help go too far?<br/>And what does that mean for his relationship with Ben?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just for ease Ben moved in with Callum, so they are living in the flat. Stuart and Rainie moved out!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun had barely risen, causing a small amount of warmth to come through the curtains. Callum and Ben lay cuddled up fast asleep, both naked, Ben laid on Callum’s chest with his arm across it.<br/>
Callum’s phone buzzed on the bedside table, awakening him, removing his arm from Ben’s waist he leant over and grabbed it.<br/>
A text from Whitney… I need to see you. Are you about? </p><p>Sitting up Callum read the message again. He hadn’t seen Whitney for a while, he wondered what was up. Ben stirred. “Where did ya go?” he said croakily, with a sleepy voice.</p><p>“Just got a text” Callum said. “Whit wants to see me.”</p><p>“What for?” Ben said sitting up next to Callum.</p><p>“Dunno, she didn’t say. I’ll pop over and see her”</p><p>“Hmm” Ben said kissing Callum on the cheek and leaning over him to get out of bed. </p><p>“Oi, where you going?” Callum said grabbing him around the waist.</p><p>“Well you said you were popping out, so I thought I’d get up” Ben said.</p><p>“I didn’t say I was going yet did I?” Callum said pushing Ben down onto the bed and lying on top of him. “not when I haven’t had my morning delight with you” Callum started kissing Ben passionately as Ben’s hands moved to Callum’s hair, moaning into his mouth as Callum slipped his tongue inside Ben’s, deepening the kiss, his hands heading south towards Ben’s naked crotch. Ben’s breathing started to become heavier.</p><p>“Hmm, you like that do ya baby?” Callum said breathlessly.</p><p>“Oh yeah” Ben whispered, kissing Callum harder. “mmm so much”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later Ben got up and headed to the shower as Callum text Whitney back... Sure, Ben’s working today and I’m not, so I’m free all day. How about I pop round in an hour?</p><p>Whitney replied straight away... Great.</p><p>Hmm Callum thought, she seems keen. But he immediately put it out of his mind as Ben appeared back in their bedroom, with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist.</p><p>Callum jumped out of bed wrapping his hands around Ben’s waist and pulling Ben’s back into his chest. Breathing in Ben’s clean hair, he could smell the coconut shampoo.<br/>
“God you are so sexy” he said quietly.<br/>
Ben smiled turning around in his arms. “love you” he said pressing their lips together, as he wrapped his arms around Callum’s neck.</p><p>“Love you too’ Callum said smiling as their lips parted. “I’m going to see Whit in an hour”</p><p>“Ok” Ben said giving Callum a kiss of the nose “Don’t forget, no proposing yeah?” He winked at him.</p><p>“Not sure that she would be up for marrying a guy who just did to you what I did this morning” Callum grinned. “Not to mention what we did last night” he whispered into Ben’s hair, kissing his hair as he let go of him.”</p><p>Ben laughed softly.</p><p>“Right, I’m gonna jump in the shower.” Callum said nicking Ben’s towel off him. “Have you got time for breakfast before work?”</p><p>“Yeah sure” Ben said, smiling.</p><p> </p><p>As they left the house together Callum pulled Ben in tight giving him a deep and loving kiss. “Mmm, I wish you didn’t have to go in.” he said pouting his lower lip.</p><p>“I know babe, but you know how it is. Anyway you promised Whit.”</p><p>“Yeah, rather be in bed with you though.” Callum tightened his grip on Ben’s waist.</p><p>“I know, me too. I’ll be finished about 6, see you at home later?”</p><p>“Can’t wait” And with one final kiss, Callum let Ben go and headed over to Whitney’s house.</p><p> </p><p>Arriving at the door, he had barely knocked when Whitney thrust it open.</p><p>“Hi” she said. She didn’t seem quite herself. “Come in.”</p><p>“You ok?” Callum asked as he stepped in closing the door behind him. “you don’t quite seem yourself”</p><p>“Yeah, er” Whitney said as she kept walking heading towards the kitchen. “Fancy a cuppa? The kettle has just boiled? Tea ok?”</p><p>“Sure” Callum said taking a seat at the table.</p><p>Callum sat eyeing Whitney suspiciously, she seemed on edge, not saying anything or making any eye contact as she found a mug, and opened the fridge to get the milk. She had forgotten that Callum liked 1 spoon of sugar, but he didn’t mind. It was actually quite a relief that she no longer knew him as well as she had done previously, as well as Ben did. </p><p>“So Whit, what’s up?” Callum asked as Whitney took a seat placing the mugs in front of them.</p><p>Whitney closed her eyes sighing. “I’m just going to come out with it” she said, taking a deep breath. “I’m pregnant”</p><p>Callum felt the breath leave his body, his head starting to spin, panic taking over and dates going through his head. His pulse throbbing in his neck, the same thing going through his head over and over - this can’t be possible, this can’t be possible. He could feel the tears starting to come to his eyes as he thought of Ben, he couldn’t lose him. His Ben, the best thing that had ever happened to him. Ben’s eyes, the smell of Ben’s hair, the feel of Ben in his arms, being inside him, Ben being inside him, the taste of his kiss…</p><p>“It’s not yours Callum” Whitney said.</p><p>“What?” Callum looked back at her, the relief flowing through his body.</p><p>“Sorry, no it’s not yours, of course it’s not yours” Whitney said stifling a laugh “didn’t mean to give you a heart attack. Can you imagine the look on Ben’s face!” </p><p>“I’d rather not to be honest” Callum said seriously. “So, is this congratulations?” Callum said cautiously. </p><p>“It’s Leo’s”</p><p>“Oh, right”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m having my stalker’s baby, not exactly ideal is it?” Whitney gently laughed nervously.</p><p>“Are you going to keep it?”</p><p>“I don’t know Callum, you know I’ve always wanted to be a mum, but how can I have his baby? I mean he’s, you know, a stalker, and he’s in prison. So I’d have to do this all on my own.”</p><p>“Well, for starters this is your baby, and you will be a great mum you know that. And you won’t be alone, you’ve got your family, and of course you’ve got me” Callum leant across the table taking Whitney’s hand “I’ll always be here to help”</p><p>“Really” said Whitney tearfully. “Thanks”</p><p>“You don’t have to thank me. So what’s first?”</p><p>“Well I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today at 12, any chance that you could come with me?”</p><p>“Of course I will, it’s no problem.”</p><p> </p><p>Sat in the doctor’s reception Whitney was nervous, Callum took hold of her hand.<br/>
“It’s all going to be fine Whit”</p><p>“Will you come in with me?” Whitney looked at Callum, fear in her eyes.</p><p>“Of course” he said as Whitney’s name was called.</p><p> </p><p>Back at Whitney’s house later, Whitney seemed more relaxed. The doctor had confirmed the pregnancy, estimating that Whitney was roughly 8 weeks, also confirming that Whitney’s general health was good. She had decided that she was going to keep the baby.</p><p>“Why don’t we go up the west end? Could have a quick look around some baby shops?” Whitney said.</p><p>“Sure that sounds nice” Callum smiled.</p><p> </p><p>Callum was amazed by the amount of shops that stocked clothes and toys for babies. Whitney dragged him everywhere, checking out soft little new born booties in H&amp;M, the softest baby toys in M&amp;S (he couldn’t resist buying a little giraffe toy in there “babies first present”), Debenhams baby department, Boots also seemed to have a range of toys and clothes that he had never noticed before.<br/>
They giggled their way through the clothes with Callum holding them up against his chest, imagining him ever being that small and them both pressing every button on every single noisy toy before legging it out of the shops.<br/>
It had been a great day and they had totally lost track of time, they had stopped for a quick snack as Whitney was hungry when Callum felt his phone vibrate in his pocket with a text from Ben, noticing that it was now 5.30... I finished up early, where are you?</p><p>“God Whit have you seen the time? We better head back, Ben’s wondering where I am”<br/>
Looking down to reply to Ben’s text, Callum failed to notice Whitney’s face dropping with disappointment. She had enjoyed spending the day with Callum like this, it was like the old days, and if she let herself she could pretend that the last 6 months hadn’t happened and that she was still with Callum, maybe that Callum was even the father of her baby. She rubbed her hands over his stomach. Maybe this little one could be the one to unlock that? No. She thought to herself coming back to reality.<br/>
As he looked back at her, she painted on a smile, linking her arm through his “Yeah let’s get back. It’s been a good day though eh?”</p><p>“Yeah” Callum beamed at her “it’s been a lot of fun” giving her hand a squeeze, they headed back towards the train.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks again so much for reading :-) xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So Whit’s pregnant?” Ben said wide eyed, sat on the sofa next to Callum “It’s not er”</p><p>“No Ben, it’s not mine”</p><p>Ben smiled shyly “Well that would have been complicated”</p><p>“It’s that Leo’s”</p><p>“Oh well that is complicated”</p><p>“So yeah, I said I’d help her out, baby scans, doctor appointments that sort of thing, you know, so she hasn’t got to go alone” Callum said.</p><p>“Hmm right” Ben said suspiciously “so like her partner?”</p><p>“Well no of course not, I’m not her partner. I’m yours” Callum leant over giving Ben a kiss on the cheek “very much so” he whispered into Ben’s ear, kissing under his ear and down his neck.</p><p>“Hmm Cal, nice try” Ben moved away and turning to face him. “You are telling me, that you are going to be basically acting as baby daddy to your ex-fiancée’s baby, yeah?”</p><p>“No, I’m just helping her out, so that she doesn’t feel so alone”</p><p>“Right. Well it’s up to you isn’t it” Ben said, getting up and walking over to the kitchen. “I’ll start dinner.”</p><p>“Ben, are you ok?”</p><p>“Sure” Ben said dismissively, with his head in the fridge searching through the contents in there.</p><p>“Ben?”</p><p>Ben stood back up looking at Callum.</p><p>“Look Callum, there will always be something between you both, and I guess it is nice that you want to help her. You are a good guy Callum, I’ve always known that”</p><p>Getting up off the sofa, Callum walked over to Ben, wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist and staring into his eyes. </p><p>“There is nothing between me and Whit, you know that, I love you. She just needs a friend right now and I want to help. But Ben…” Callum said putting his left hand on Ben’s face wrapping his hands around Ben’s ear “I love you and only you, and that is never going to change ok?” Ben nodded slightly.</p><p>“Anyway” Callum giggled cheekily “she doesn’t exactly have the right equipment” he said moving his hand down into Ben’s crotch giving him a gentle saucy squeeze. “Maybe dinner can wait?” he said breathing heavily into Ben’s ear, pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss.</p><p>Ben melted into Callum, kissing him back deeply and pushing him into the bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>They ended up getting a Chinese. Both exhausted from their bedroom antics, Callum particularly passionately showing Ben just how much he meant to him, and to be honest Ben was feeling a bit sore. In a good way. But sore none the less.<br/>Sitting on the sofa after gorging on the takeaway Ben was lying in his favourite place on Callum’s lap, Callum running his hands through Ben’s hair, some rubbish on the TV.<br/>All of a sudden on the table Callum’s phone started to vibrate over and over.</p><p>“What the hell babe? You been hacked?” Ben said sitting up.</p><p>Callum sat up grabbing his phone. “Oh” Callum said.</p><p>“What is it?” Ben said confused.</p><p>“Just Whit” Callum said looking at Ben nervously “she’s just sending me some stuff”</p><p>“What kind of stuff?”</p><p>“Er just what to expect when you are expecting type stuff”</p><p>“But YOU aren’t expecting Callum”</p><p>“I know. She knows that”</p><p>“Does she?”</p><p>“Yeah of course, I just promised her that she wouldn’t be going through this alone didn’t I?”</p><p>“How cosy” Ben said getting up and grabbing his shoes and coat and putting them on. “I’m going for a drink, just think I need some space for 5 minutes”</p><p>“Ben!” Callum said as the door slammed behind him. “Shit” Callum said under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>After 20 minutes Callum entered the pub, it was pretty empty, it was a Tuesday after all, so he quickly found Ben sat on a stool at the bar nursing a glass of whiskey. </p><p>“Ben?” he said as he approached him cautiously. “Can I join you?”</p><p>“It’s a free country” he said not raising his eyes from the glass in his hand.</p><p>“Ben, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Ben closed his eyes exhaling sharply. “Callum. I spent months watching you with her, feeling so much for you whilst you rejected me and pushed me away”</p><p>“Ben-“ Callum tried to touch Ben’s arm.</p><p>“Don’t” Ben said moving his arm away. “And now here we are, and I thought, I thought that we were happy, that finally it was you and me, together. But I guess I was wrong” Ben opened his eyes, still looking at the glass in front of him.</p><p>“Ben, come and sit with me, please” Callum said moving over to a booth.<br/>Callum sat down, Ben taking a seat next to him.</p><p>“Ben” Callum said grabbing Ben’s hand. “I have never loved anyone before, not really. I just love you. I do want to help Whit, but I’ll make it clear to her that I am just her friend ok? My love, my life is with you.”</p><p>Ben turned to Callum “Look.” He paused. “It’s not like I don’t want you to help her, or be there for her, I get that she is on her own. But the whole what to expect when you are expecting thing, that is what hurt. I mean that really is a couple thing, and” he paused again. “I guess I never really told you how hard it was, you know, when you went back to her after we hooked up that first time, having to go through that again, I can’t do it” Ben looked back at his glass sadly.</p><p>“Ben” Callum put his hand around Ben’s shoulder “there is no way that is going to happen again. I’m sorry that happened. That er, that time, and how I made you feel. You know I was deep in the closet and terrified of how you made me feel, but I love you, more than anything. Come on, we live together, we sleep together every night, we wake up together every morning. I love you, you love me, I have never been happier than I am with you.”</p><p>Ben sighed. “I know but – “</p><p>“No buts. I love you” Callum kissed Ben’s cheek “I love you” he kissed into his hair. <br/>“I fancy you so much” He whispered into Ben’s ear “you are the sexiest man, no person alive”</p><p>“Ok, ok” Ben smiled, “I believe you”</p><p>Callum leant over and grabbed Ben’s face pulling him into a deep kiss. “Let’s go home baby” Callum said breathlessly.</p><p>Ben smiled. “Ok” as Callum pulled him up from his seat and pulled him out of the pub and they walked back home hand in hand.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this chapter is a little sad :-(<br/>Thanks again for reading xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the week passed fairly inconsequentially, Callum was still talking to Whitney every day, but it hadn’t particularly impacted Ben and Callum’s time together, until it came to the weekend.</p><p>It was Friday night and Ben was already in the Vic waiting for Callum to get back from work. Sat with a pint in his hand and one on the table for Callum, he had order 2 burgers for them. Callum arrived, giving Ben a kiss on the cheek as he sat down. “Hi babe” Callum smiled.</p><p>“Dinner is order, burger ok?”</p><p>“Yeah great thanks” Callum grabbed his pint taking a swig “so, er, are you working tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yep, only in the morning, Jay’s coming in to take over at lunchtime. Why?”</p><p>“It’s just that, er, I said I would go and have a look at some stuff with Whit tomorrow, for the little ‘en” Callum said nervously, watching Ben for a reaction. He didn’t get one.</p><p>“Right, so you’ll be gone all day then?” Ben said emotionlessly, staring into space ahead.</p><p>“Well, no, erm, I will be gone for a bit yeah, might not be all day.”</p><p>“Ok fine.” Ben said “I’m going to the loo”</p><p>Callum sighed. “Damn” he whispered under his breath. They had been getting on so much better, Ben seemed to understand that Whitney needed him as long as he kept it out of their life, he didn’t seem to mind that much. Callum had known that agreeing to a full Saturday together was probably pushing it, but he was hoping that Ben would carry on being understanding, but from Ben’s reaction, it seemed that wasn’t the case.</p><p>Ben returned to the table, not looking at Callum, grabbing his pint and taking another sip of beer.<br/>“Look Ben, I can tell her that I can’t do it.”</p><p>“You don’t want to let her down.” Ben said continuing to stare into space.</p><p>“No, but Ben, I don’t want to upset you”</p><p>“I’m not upset” Ben said. “Look Callum, you want to go and spend time with Whitney, so do it. I’m not your keeper. It’s fine”</p><p>Callum went to reply as the food arrived. The moment had passed.</p><p>Saturday arrived and Ben headed off to work early whilst Callum was still in the shower, deciding to grab breakfast from the café. </p><p>Arriving at the car lot Ben turned his phone off putting it in his desk draw, he really didn’t want to talk to Callum today. He hated how much it bothered him, Callum spending this time with Whitney. He knew that there was no attraction there, certainly not on Callum’s part and he wasn’t that bothered by Whitney’s feelings. Callum was great with Lexi and clearly loved children, but for some reason this worried Ben, Whitney was going to be able to give Callum a real family, the wife and child, and a small part of Ben just felt that the desire for this was still in Callum, and if this carried on he was going to go back. <br/>The want to run was starting to grow in Ben, to run away from their relationship before Callum left him and he got really hurt. He could already feel the walls going up and the distance that he wanted to put between them starting to be created.</p><p>Jay arrived at lunchtime and Ben decided to go and pick up Lexi.<br/>Lola was thrilled as she needed to do some shopping and the chance of doing that without a bored 7 year old had made her day.<br/>Ben decided that a trip to the aquarium was in order, Lexi loved it there and they would be able to have a nice lunch and he could spoil her in the gift shop. Nobody ever made him feel better than Lexi.</p><p>They had a great time, with Lex wanting to look at absolutely everything, even though they had been there countless times before! She lapped up day of Ben’s undivided attention and the day spent with her really helped to heal the pain that was starting to take over his paranoid heart.<br/>Heading home Lexi was starting to flag, so he headed straight back to Jay and Lola’s. Jay was in and after tucking Lexi into bed passed Ben a beer as he took a seat on the sofa.</p><p>“Phone still off then is it?” Jay asked, taking a seat on the other sofa.</p><p>“What do ya mean?”</p><p>“Well Cal’s phoned about 5 times trying to get hold of ya. He sounded upset to be honest. What’s goin’ on?”</p><p>“Don’t matter”</p><p>“Well obviously it does. Come on, we’re brothers, you know that you can tell me anything”</p><p>“It’s Whitney aint it? She’s got herself knocked up with that weirdo Leo’s kid and is leaning on Callum for support.”</p><p>“That’s good of ‘im” Jay said, eyebrows raised at Ben.</p><p>“Yeah” Ben said staring at the ground.</p><p>“So it’s bothering you?”</p><p>“Well, it’s the perfect little family aint it?” He sighed, taking a swig from the bottle “what he’s always wanted.”</p><p>“Na bruv, I think that’s you”</p><p>Ben closed his eyes, sighing heavily. “I don’t know Jay. This just don’t feel right. He’s happy as Larry with all this baby stuff, he’s even spent today with her rather than me. Just feels like…”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“Like it was before.” Ben sighed again. “I don’t know. I’m not going through all that again. Look it’s fine, forget I said anything I’m being paranoid yeah. Let’s talk about something else”</p><p>“Ben, if you wanna talk about it…”</p><p>“Na, so did you flog that Ford today?”</p><p>Just after 9 Ben went home. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing Callum, but he decided to paint on a smile as he headed towards the flat.</p><p>As Ben put his key in the lock the door flung open “Where the hell have you been?” Callum stood on the other side of the door.</p><p>“Just out you know”</p><p>“I’ve been calling you for hours.”</p><p>“Oh” Ben said taking his phone out of his pocket. “Sorry, flat battery”</p><p>“I missed you” Callum said, pulling Ben into a hug, Ben did not hug back.</p><p>“Can I come in then?” Ben said moving out of Callum’s embrace and walking past him “cold out there”</p><p>“Yeah course babe, I made dinner are you hungry?”</p><p>“No thanks I ate out” Ben said walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind him, he had a banging headache.</p><p>Callum tapped at the door. “Beer?”</p><p>“Er sure. I’ll be out in a mo”</p><p>Ben came out of the bathroom and found a bottle of beer on the table by the sofa, Callum was still in the kitchen, cooking a stir fry.</p><p>“How was your day?” He beamed at Ben.</p><p>“Yeah fine thanks, did you have a good day?”</p><p>“It was great, I reckon we went to every baby shop up West again! Real laugh though, she just wanted to get a few bits and do some research on cots and prams and stuff, there’s just so many!” As Callum continued to babble on excitedly Ben felt himself sinking further and further into the sofa and into himself. It was like listening to a new dad talking, it felt like all of Ben’s fears were being realised.</p><p>Callum finished cooking. “Are you sure that you don’t want any babe?”</p><p>“Yes I’m sure” Ben said feeling sick, as he put the TV on desperate for some background noise to drown out both this conversation and the panic in Ben’s head.<br/>Callum came and sat next to him on the sofa, plate on his lap and fork in hand, as he put his other hand on Ben’s thigh he jumped. “What’s wrong?” Callum said, turning to Ben looking concerned.<br/>“Nothing” Ben said smiling weakly, the feeling of sickness getting stronger “just got a bit of a headache”</p><p>“Oh Ben” Callum said leaning over and kissing Ben on the cheek. “I’ll give you a massage after I’ve eaten this if you like, help you to relax”</p><p>“It’s fine, I’ve taken some paracetamol, I’m sure they will kick in soon.”<br/>Callum stroked Ben’s thigh. “Maybe we should have an early night, I’m sure I can make you feel better” Callum smiled.</p><p>“Hmm” Ben said, non-committedly. Finding it impossible to shake off the sickness feeling. “Actually I think I’m going to go for a lie down” he said getting up.</p><p>“Ok I’ll be in, in a mo”</p><p>“No I think I’ll have a nap”</p><p>“Ok babe” Callum said. “Shout if you need anything yeah?”</p><p>“Mmm” Ben mumbled, walking swiftly to the bedroom and closing the door behind him. As he got undressed and lay under the covers he just felt sad. Sad that their relationship didn’t feel real anymore, sad that Callum still wanted the ‘wife and kids’ life more than he wanted him, and sad that he just didn’t see it. <br/>He lay on his side mentally going through their cupboards and drawers trying to think how long it would take to move out, how many boxes would he need? He would go to his dads probably. Less questions asked there.<br/>About half an hour after he went to bed he heard the bedroom door open as Callum poked his head in. “Ben” his whispered.<br/>Ben closed his eyes tightly, not replying, praying that Callum would think he was asleep and go away. He wanted to be alone, he didn’t want to talk to him. Didn’t want the inevitable to happen today and for their relationship to end tonight, he wasn’t feeling strong enough to deal with that. He felt Callum’s weight on the mattress as he knelt on it beside Ben, leaning over him he kissed the top of his head, pulled the covers up to tuck him in and left the room.<br/>He loved that Ben thought, the little things that Callum did that had made him feel loved, the kindness.<br/>But then his mind flipped back to his despair, he would miss that, Callum wouldn’t, not when he was busy building a cot for the spare room, and working out where they would put the baby monitor. He squeezed his eyes tighter, hoping to stop the tears that were forming. But it was to no avail, they came anyway as he willed himself to sleep, to put an end of the sadness that he felt in his heart, hoping and praying that he would wake up with a new inner strength to deal with all of this tomorrow.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sadly things just keep getting worse :-(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben awoke sensing that it was clearly late or very early. He could feel Callum’s arms wrapped around him and his breath against his neck. He was torn between enjoying the comfort and feeling devastated about it all.<br/>He stayed completely still as he felt Callum move in his sleep tightening his hold on Ben, and giving him a kiss on his neck in his sleep. Waiting a few minutes for Callum to settle back into a deep sleep Ben slipped gently out of Callum’s arms and out of the bed. Grabbing some clothes he quickly dressed and left the flat.<br/>Initially thinking that he would go to the car lot, he decided to go to the park and take a seat on a swing. He looked at his phone 5am, Callum would be awake soon. Ben knew that he would have to deal with this. But later, after work. It was just starting to get light, but the air was still cool. Ben leaned back on the swing looking up at the sky and taking some deep breaths. He felt sick to his stomach. Usually on a Sunday he would wake up wrapped in Callum’s arms, love all around and they would make love before having a leisurely breakfast, often in bed, still wrapped up in each other. If they both weren’t working that could easily be where they spent the day, and if it was his turn to work the Sunday shift and Callum was free he would come by at lunchtime and bring Ben something delicious to eat, often spending the afternoon at the car lot whilst Ben served the odd customer. Just spending time with him. Ben sat there thinking about how things had been for so long, so happy. And yet now, he felt like it was falling apart, he couldn’t help how he felt, he knew that deep down Callum loved him, but was that enough?</p><p>At 6 he went to work. Turning on his computer he started looking at some car auction sites, deciding to place some ads for some of the cars that they had been trying to shift for a while, that always took some concentration trying to big up an old Ford banger! </p><p>At 6.30 the door opened and Callum walked in.<br/>“There you are. What are you doing here so early?”</p><p>Ben felt his stomach drop, he had expected Callum to call or text, not turn up.</p><p>“Er, just couldn’t sleep, so thought I’d get a head start on the day.”</p><p>“Ben” Callum said firmly. “It’s Sunday. You don’t even open until 10. What is going on?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“Ben”</p><p>Ben closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. </p><p>“Ben” Callum said crossing the room he sat on the desk, touching Ben’s arm. Ben flinched.</p><p>“Ben” Callum said tears forming. “Please, I can’t touch you, you don’t want to talk to me. This is about Whitney isn’t it?”</p><p>“She can give you what I can’t” Ben whispered.</p><p>“Ben” Callum exhaled heavily. “You are being ridiculous”</p><p>Ben stood up sharply. “Really am I?” He glared at Callum fuming. </p><p>“Yes, I love you”</p><p>“Do you Callum? Really?” Ben spat the words out. “That is why you spent all day yesterday with her, that is why you spent all last night going on and on about all the things that ‘we bought for the baby’ ‘all the different types of prams’ ‘all the different cots’”</p><p>“How can you possibly be jealous of this?”</p><p>“Jealous? Of her?”</p><p>“Yes Ben, you are jealous and this is crazy”</p><p>Ben stood and stared at Callum fuming, the silence a heavy fog between them.</p><p>“Look Ben” Callum stood up, moving towards Ben with an arm stretched out. “I know that I am spending quite a lot of time with Whit, and yeah, the baby stuff is exciting” he said softly touching Ben’s arm “but this doesn’t change anything between us. I just like it, you know doing the baby stuff.”</p><p>Ben said nothing.</p><p>“Ben, please talk to me”</p><p>“Callum. She is your ex-fiancée”</p><p>“She’s my friend”</p><p>“You and her were going to do all this weren’t you? Have kids?”</p><p>“Well yeah, but”</p><p>“So now you are doing it”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Now you are doing it, being a new dad, and you expect me to do what? Sit here and watch you?” Ben said moving his arm away from Callum’s hand. “Watch you get back together and play happy families?”</p><p>“What? Ben, no. You can’t be serious! I would never go back to Whitney, not, not like that. I’d never leave you”</p><p>“Well maybe it won’t be your choice” Ben glared at him. </p><p>“What, what does that mean?” Callum said as Ben walked past him, back to his desk. </p><p>“Ben, what does that mean” Callum said wobbly.</p><p>“Maybe you need to think about what it is you really want Callum.” Ben said looking back at his computer screen. “Look, I need to get on”</p><p>Callum looked at him stunned. “Fine” he said and stormed out.</p><p>Ben closed his eyes, tears falling.</p><p> </p><p>Before Callum knew it he was back at the flat. He was furious, fuming, red hot angry. What the actual hell had just happened? All he was doing was being a good friend and Ben was, Ben was what? Threatening to end their relationship? He couldn’t believe this.<br/>He was too angry to go back to bed, so instead got changed, deciding to go for a run to clear his head.<br/>He didn’t get far, making it to the park he sat on a swing. The sun was up now, but it was still early, only just past 7 so no one was there. He leant back on the swing staring up at the sky. He had waited his whole life to find Ben, he had never felt as complete as he had since they had got together, and now that they lived together his life had just been getting better and better until now.</p><p>He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Ben? No Whitney.</p><p>Hey, are you about today? Got loads I wanna show you </p><p>Well I may as well go over there he thought, texting back.</p><p>Sure I’ll come over later.</p><p>Come for breakfast? Whitney text back.</p><p>Ok. Sounds good.</p><p>See you at 8 </p><p> </p><p>As Callum arrived Whitney opened the door, big smile on her face. “Morning! I’ve got croissants!”</p><p>“Lovely” Callum said was a soft smile, following Whitney to the kitchen, where he found Sonia and Tiffany sat looking at the laptop.</p><p>“We’re just on that baby website I sent you”</p><p>As Callum entered the room they both looked at him suspiciously.</p><p>“Alright” he said nervously.</p><p>“Callum” Sonia said sharply. “How’s Ben?”</p><p>“Yeah fine, fine” he said looking at the ground.</p><p>“Take a seat Cal” Whitney said. “Move the laptop over Son, I want him to be able to see as well”</p><p>“So, you know I was thinking about that pram we saw? Well look at this one? I reckon it’s ever better and it’s cheaper. Son really liked the look of it, what do ya reckon Cal?”</p><p>“Yeah great Whit” Callum said. He could feel the steely glares of Whitney’s family on him.</p><p>“Well I reckon you’ll look well good pushin’ that Whit” Tiffany added.</p><p>“Oh and Cal, I got some bits for you” Whitney said handing Callum some books – ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ ’Pregnancy for men’ ‘The expectant dad’s survival kit’<br/>“Just thought, you know as you are helping me out and stuff, it would be good for you to know what to expect!”</p><p>“Yeah, sure, I’ll er, give ‘em a read”</p><p>Whitney continued to fuss around Callum all morning, making him tea, going through reams of baby websites. At lunchtime she decided that they need to take a walk “stretch off those legs yeah?”</p><p>“Sure”</p><p>As they walked around the square, they passed the car lot. Ben was stood on the forecourt showing a customer around a car. He looked up briefly as Callum tried to smile and give him a wave. Ben looked away.</p><p>Whitney continued talking and walking, Callum followed on behind her.</p><p> </p><p>Later that afternoon Callum popped back home. He was already feeling exhausted after the early start and row with Ben and then hours of baby talk with Whitney. He decided to have a quick nap, thinking he could cook a nice meal for when Ben got home and they could sort things out.<br/>As Callum entered the bedroom something seemed strange. Looking at Ben’s bedside table it seemed quite empty, then it dawned on him, Ben’s things had gone. There was no phone charger, his glasses weren’t there and his contact solution was also gone. Opening the wardrobe in a panic, he saw that half of Ben’s clothes were gone. “No” he said, rushing out, and then he saw it on the kitchen side, a note from Ben.</p><p>I’ve gone to stay at my dad’s for a bit. <br/>I think we need some space.<br/>Look after yourself.<br/>B</p><p>Callum sunk to the floor, tears falling. Ben was gone.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks again so much for reading, means so much xx<br/>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben’s phone was switched off. Callum tried calling over and over, just getting his voicemail each time. He clearly did not want to talk. He asked for space, Callum thought, I’ll give him some.</p><p>His phone buzzed in his hand. Text from work calling him in. Well at least he can distract himself there. He jumped into the shower, got dressed and headed in.</p><p>Arriving home later to an empty flat, Callum collapsed into the bed. He could still smell Ben on his pillow, he hugged it tight as he fell asleep from pure exhaustion, wanting to put this horrible day behind him. He just needed to give Ben some space. He was sure things would be ok, they had to be.</p><p>Callum awoke the next day to another morning message. Whitney.<br/>Morning! You working today?</p><p>Yeah but not until this afternoon.</p><p>Do you fancy lunch? I’ll cook, got something I want to show you.</p><p>Sure, I’ll be over at 12.</p><p>Callum hauled himself out of the empty bed. Sitting on the edge he just felt awful, sick, and sad. He missed Ben so much it was like there was an actual hole in his heart. He got up, showered and dressed in jeans and a jumper. He didn’t bother to do his hair, instead sat on the sofa with the TV on with some daytime programme that he wasn’t watching. <br/>He grabbed his phone, going through old texts from Ben. Little in jokes that only they understood, saucy messages, loving ones. He looked through his photos, silly selfies of them both together, naughty ones that Ben would send him at work to make him blush, usually him naked on their bed. He ran his thumb over Ben’s smiling face. God he missed him.</p><p>At 10 to 12 he left the flat, walking past the car lot he noticed that the blinds were closed. The light was on and he could see shadows walking around so Ben must be in there. Callum felt another piece of his heart break as he realised that he wouldn’t even be able to see Ben from afar today, not even through the window. He stopped dead in the street, the panic rising. Was this more than space? Was he actually going to lose him?</p><p>Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he went to his contacts, finding the name he was looking for he hit dial. “Mick, can I come over? I need your help” </p><p>“Course you can, come to the front, me and L are just sat downstairs”</p><p>Callum headed over quickly, tapping on the door to the Vic, Mick appeared and opened it. <br/>“Alright?”</p><p>Callum walked in, “Alright Callum?” Linda said from behind the bar.</p><p>“Cal, mate, you don’t look so good, everything ok?” Mick said looking at him with a concerned look on his face.</p><p>“Not really” Callum said taking a seat at the bar. “Things aint so good with Ben to be honest”</p><p>“What’s happened mate?”</p><p>As Callum updated Mick, Linda popped into the kitchen, returning with 3 cuppas.</p><p>“So you been helping out Whit, with the baby stuff ‘n’ that, but he don’t like it?” Mick continued.</p><p>“Na, and I told him there’s nothing goin’ on, but he won’t have it. And then last night I got home and he was gone, he’s gone to Phil’s and I don’t know when he’s coming back” Callum said, his voice starting to wobble.</p><p>Linda put the cups down. “Ben’s gone?”</p><p>Callum turned to Linda “Yeah, we had a row about Whit and then today he’s, he’s”</p><p>“Why were you rowing about ‘er?”</p><p>“She’s pregnant, it’s that Leo’s, and you know she’s scared and feelin’ alone, so I’ve been spending some time with her, doctor’s appointments and that, an’ we’ve been up West a bit doing a bit of shopping, made a day of it at the weekend.”</p><p>“So you spent the day with ‘er, instead of with Ben?”</p><p>“Well yeah but-“</p><p>“Callum, Callum” Linda said leaning over the bar taking hold of Callum’s hand “First rule of relationships is that no one ever comes before your other half, and you never EVER put your ex before your other half. Ben’s head must be all over the place, what must he be thinking? Well you know what he’s thinking, that you are getting back together with her”</p><p>“What? No, how can he think that?”</p><p>“Because you are always with her? Because he has left you, and you have done nothing about it?”</p><p>“But he said he wanted space”</p><p>“Are you crazy Callum? He didn’t mean it. He’s probably heartbroken, he thinks that your relationship is over. He’s left you”</p><p>Callum looked distraught “No he said he was just staying at Phil’s for a bit, just to give us some space”</p><p>“He’s probably at yours packing up his stuff right now”</p><p>“What?” tears sprang into Callum’s eyes. “No”</p><p>“L, I don’t think it’s as bad as all that” Mick said, placing his hand on Callum’s trying to console him.</p><p>“Mick you know nothing” Linda said, turning back to Callum “Do you love him?”</p><p>“Yeah, course”</p><p>“How much?”</p><p>“More than anything”</p><p>“Well if you mean that, then you better sort this out. He’s a good looking lad, he’ll be snapped up in no time. You keep behaving like this and there’ll be no way back, you mark my words, and you’ll have done this to yourself. And if you don’t think that she knows what she’s doing then you really are a muppet”</p><p>“Who Whit? Na”</p><p>“Cal, I’ve been a pregnant woman, and I been a woman in love, and SHE” Linda pointed out of the door in the direction of Whitney’s house “She is looking for a baby daddy, and it just so happens that she’s still in love with you. So she wrecks your relationship and all of a sudden you’ll be back in her arms”</p><p>“No, no”</p><p>“That’s what she reckons, and even worse, so does Ben”</p><p>Callum was stunned, as he slipped off the stool and started pacing back and forth. Stopping suddenly.</p><p>“What am I gonna do?”</p><p>“You better show him and her, just how much he means to you sharpish” Linda said.</p><p>Mick looked towards Linda, talking to Callum, “She’s good ‘aint she mate?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah” Callum said thoughtfully “Thanks, thank you both” he said heading out the door “I better go and sort this out” </p><p> </p><p>On his way back to the flat he called in sick to work, texting Whitney to apologise, he was not coming for lunch. He then text Ben, asking him to come over after work. Please, just come over.</p><p>Ben sent a reply. Ok.</p><p>Ok thought Callum, well that’s a start.</p><p> </p><p>Ben approached the flat tentatively. As he walked up the stairs he could hear a soft sound of music. Turning to enter he saw candles everywhere, on every surface, there was also flowers, lots of flowers and the music was low, gentle and romantic. The table was set with 2 places with candles between them.</p><p>Callum, in the kitchen, turned to face him, he was dressed in the crisp white shirt that Ben loved and his light blue jeans, a big smile on his face. “There you are”</p><p>Ben moved further into the room, looking around, he had never seen anything like this before. He could smell something delicious.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>“I’m sorry Ben” Callum said moving towards him “I am so so sorry. I never ever meant to make you think that you didn’t matter or weren’t number 1 in my life” He put his arms on Ben’s shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. “I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I just got carried away. I took us for granted, I took you for granted”</p><p>Ben scoffed “Yeah, well, er”</p><p>“I will never do that again”</p><p>Ben looked at the ground, willing the tears that wanted to fall to go away, to no avail as a gentle tear slid down his face. Callum put his index finger under Ben’s chin raising his face back up so he could look in his eyes again, wiping the tear away.</p><p>“Please come home baby” he whispered. “Please”</p><p>“Cal, I don’t think you know what you want.”</p><p>“Yes I do, I want you.”</p><p>“So what then” Ben said pointing at the pile of books on the floor “are those?”<br/>Walking over he picked one up “The expectant dad’s survival kit?” he threw it back down and started heading for the door.</p><p>“Ben no” Callum grabbed his arm “please don’t leave! I know it looks bad, I get it. I let things go too far. You are right.”</p><p>Ben stopped and turned back to face Callum.</p><p>“I think” Callum paused “I think I might want kids, you know to be a dad.”</p><p>Ben gulped.</p><p>“But Ben, I love you, and I want to be with you. I DO NOT want to be with Whitney”</p><p>“But you do want kids?”</p><p>“I think so”</p><p>“Right”</p><p>There was a long pause.</p><p>“Ben, I want to have a family with you” Callum said, “I would love to have a family with you. But if, if you don’t wanna…”</p><p>Ben sighed. “Cal, I’ve never really thought about it, I guess I just thought that me and Lex were enough.”</p><p>“You are, I love you and Lex, but you are a dad and get to be Lexi’s dad everyday Ben, and I, I don’t”</p><p>“She loves you”</p><p>“I know she does, but it isn’t the same is it?” Callum said grabbing hold of Ben and pulling his close, so that their foreheads were touching. “I just want to put it on the table, kids, just so we can talk about it, yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah” Ben agreed.</p><p>“But then you need to come home, please come home Ben” Callum looked desperately at him.</p><p>“Ok” Ben whispered.</p><p>Callum gulped, then bent down and pulled Ben into a kiss.</p><p>Pulling Ben’s coat off and throwing it on the sofa, Callum pulled him in close again. “Dance with me?” he whispered into his ear.</p><p>“Hmm” Ben hummed into Callum’s neck as they gently began to sway. </p><p>Callum put his nose into Ben’s hair, taking his deep breath, breathing him in, holding him tighter. “I missed you so much, please never leave me again”</p><p>Ben pulled back, looking at Callum “I won’t” stretching up and pulling him into a deep kiss.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben woke up alone.</p><p>Stepping out of the bedroom he found Callum sat on the sofa, Ben stretched, rubbing his eyes, he headed over towards him. “You ok?” Ben asked him.</p><p>“Yeah, just writing a text to Whit” Callum said as Ben stopped dead.</p><p>“Oh” Ben said.</p><p>“Just telling her that I’m not coming to her NCT class with her”</p><p>“Oh” Ben said again, not knowing what to say.</p><p>“Come here” Callum said, stretching out his hand, as Ben walked towards him, he grabbed him pulling him on to his lap and giving him a kiss. “Morning beautiful”</p><p>Ben smiled shyly. “Morning” he gave Callum a soft kiss as Callum pulled him in more tightly.</p><p>“Can you take the day off today?” Callum asked rubbing his hand up and down Ben’s back lovingly.</p><p>“Er yeah, why?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve rung in sick. I wanna talk about everything Ben. I want us to be ok”</p><p>“We are ok” Ben said as Callum raised his eyebrows looking at him. “But yeah, I’ll take the day off”</p><p>“Bacon sandwiches?” Callum asked.</p><p>“Sounds good”</p><p>“Then, um maybe we can talk”</p><p>“Ok” Ben said, kissing Callum on the cheek as he got off Callum’s lap.</p><p> </p><p>After munching on their breakfast they took a seat on the living room floor. Sitting opposite each other with cushions all around them, Callum started.</p><p>“Let me explain. I wanna be a dad Ben, I wanna be one of the people that our child comes running to when they are hurt, to do the school runs, to do the scraped knees, I wanna be daddy. I love Lex so much, she means everything to me, but you are her dad and Lola is her mum, and I totally respect that, and I would never ever want to overstep the mark. I’ll always be there for her and love her, but it’s not right for me to be more involved than I am. And anyway there’s Jay to think of in this too. I want to do it right, start for the beginning, have a baby. Our baby, yours and mine. And Lex would be the best big sister ever”</p><p>“Cal, I get it” Ben said staring into Callum’s eyes “Lex is mine I know that, but I want you to think of her as yours too”</p><p>“I do Ben, honestly I do. But it’s not just you and me is it? It’s Lola and Jay as well. And I love our family, but I want to be a dad, an actual dad, do you understand?”</p><p>Ben sighed. “Yeah, course I do”</p><p>Callum took Ben’s hand. “But, er, is this a dealbreaker for you?”</p><p>“No babe of course not.” Ben edged closer to Callum, almost sitting on him. “I get it, I do. Being Lexi’s dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, well other than you” he smiled shyly at Callum. “But I’ve been thinking and it would be amazing to have a family with you. To be dads together, you are amazing with Lex, you would be the best dad, and I want that for you, I want to give that to you, I want us to have that together.”</p><p>“Really?” Callum said pulling Ben into his lap. “We can really do this?”</p><p>“Yes babe, we can start looking into it” Ben said, lifting Callum’s lips to meet his, kissing him softly “I love you”</p><p>“I love you so much” Callum said.</p><p> </p><p>Callum became obsessed with surrogacy sites, spending hours researching online the best thing to do, but it was complicated, and in the UK definitely not easy.<br/>“There’s some groups we can go to babe” he said to Ben one night when they were lying in bed together, sated and satisfied after a night of lovemaking. Sweat delicately coating their bodies.</p><p>“Hmm?” Ben hummed.</p><p>“To talk about surrogacy” </p><p>“Oh right, ok”</p><p>“Yeah, I was looking it up online, there’s one tomorrow night in Camden town”</p><p>“Ok” Ben said, his head on Callum’s chest, arm wrapped around his waist. “What time?”</p><p>“Seven”</p><p>“Ok, do you want to meet there or come home first”</p><p>“Home, I want to go together”</p><p>“Ok babe, let’s do it”</p><p>Callum pulled Ben in closer, squeezing him tightly. “I can’t believe we’re doing this” he whispered, his body quivering in excitement.</p><p>“It’s just the first step Cal yeah, you know this isn’t easy”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I know” Callum said running his hand up and down Ben’s back. “I love you”</p><p>“Love you” Ben said sleepily, drifting off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Arriving home the next night, Callum stormed into the flat going straight into the bedroom, he fell onto the bed, face buried in the pillow as he started to cry.</p><p>“Cal, babe, please don’t be upset” Ben crawled onto the bed to cuddle up to him, his hands across Callum’s back and into his hair.</p><p>“It’s so unfair” Callum sobbed. “Just because we are gay, it’s so hard for us to have a family”</p><p>“I know babe, I know.” Ben pulled Callum closer, as he left go of the pillow and burrowed his head into Ben.</p><p>“We’ll find a way Cal, I promise” Ben whispered, not having a clue how.</p><p> </p><p>2 months later Ben arrived home to an excited Callum, jumping up from the sofa as he entered the room “Whitney’s been round”</p><p>“Right” Ben said cautiously.</p><p>“She had some news” Callum said, all twitchy, shifting from foot to foot.</p><p>“She’s met someone, his name is Seb”</p><p>“Oh right” Ben said, the relief washing over him, leaning up to give Callum a kiss on the cheek “that’s nice”</p><p>“And…” Callum said dramatically.</p><p>“And?” Ben said as he took off his coat, placing it over the back of a chair and slipped off his shoes.</p><p>“There’s a woman in her NCT class who is a surrogate”</p><p>“Really?” Ben said turning around to face Callum.</p><p>“Yeah, this is her second pregnancy, and Whit said she loves helping people. She’s 7 months along, and maybe, just maybe she might, you know, be interested in helping us.”</p><p>“Wow, that would be well” Ben said flabbergasted “that would be amazing”</p><p>“So, Whit said we could meet her, next week, well, if you want to”</p><p>“Of course I would babe” Ben pulled Callum into his arms. “Look let’s just take this one step at a time ok, I don’t want you getting disappointed. It would be great to meet her, but let’s just see what happens.”</p><p>“Yeah, course” Callum said, with a big smile on his face. “One step at a time”</p><p> </p><p>It was nearly 3 weeks later in a café just off Oxford Street that Ben and Callum met Stephanie. At almost 8 months pregnant she was not delighted with the muggy weather. It was lightly raining, but also quite warm, and the static weather had ruined her hair. <br/>Ben and Callum were already there, having found a table at the back of the café. Whitney had described them well, a horribly in-love couple, you could see it in them a mile off, one tall and light brown haired, one shorter and dark haired. Both looking like eager puppies.</p><p>As she approached them, they awkwardly stood, clearly very nervous.</p><p>“Ben and Callum?” She said.</p><p>They both nodded.</p><p>“Hi, I’m Steph”</p><p>“Great, er, great to meet you” Callum stuttered. “What can we get you?”</p><p>“Oh just a glass of water thanks, this weather is a nightmare when you are carrying a load like this, and I’m parched!”</p><p>“I’ll go and get it” Callum hopped up and walked over to the counter.</p><p>“Sorry” Ben said, “he’s a little nervous, well actually we both are”</p><p>“Look there’s no need” Steph said, giving Ben a warm smile. “Clearly this is not my first time” She laughed.</p><p>“Er no” Ben laughed nervously.</p><p>Callum arrived back at the table carrying the glass, which he gently placed in front of Steph.</p><p>“Thanks” she grabbed it gulping it back.</p><p>“Would, er, you like another?” He said, starting to get up.</p><p>“No, no, ta” Steph chuckled “I’ll be in the loo if I do!”</p><p>Callum smiled sitting back down and clasping Ben’s hand.</p><p>“So” Steph began. “You guys want to have a baby?”</p><p>“Yes” Ben said smiling at Callum and tightening the grasp of their hands.</p><p>“I already have a daughter” Ben continued. “In the days when I was trying not to be gay. I’m great friends with her mum, but we” he looked at Callum lovingly “We want a family together”</p><p>“Uh huh, and who will be the bio dad?”</p><p>“Me” Callum said.</p><p>“And have you thought about how your daughter er”</p><p>“Lexi” Ben answered.</p><p>“Right, so have you thought about how Lexi will feel about this?”</p><p>“Yeah, we have talked about it a lot as a family” Callum said. “Lexi is really excited, and Lola, that’s Lexi’s mum is so supportive and so is her other half, we can’t wait to extend our family.”</p><p>Steph shifted in her chair. “Well obviously I’m a bit busy at the mo, and I’ll need some time to recover after this little one, but I guess that will give us some time to get to know each other, and see if this is right for all of us. It’s not an overnight thing.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, of course” Callum smiled.</p><p>“And a donor egg yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, Cal’s all over the research” Ben stroked Callum’s hand as he turned to face him. “We have found a clinic so we know what we’re doing there.”</p><p>“So just looking for an oven for your bun?” Steph smiled.</p><p>“I guess so” Callum replied.</p><p>“Ok guys. Well your mate Whit raves about you, and we’re in no rush, so let’s take it one step at a time. It was great to meet you, let’s spend some time getting to know each other, I’ll be in touch.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, great”</p><p>And with that Steph, got up and left.</p><p>Callum turned to Ben. “That was good yeah? I think that was good.”</p><p>“Babe, I think that was great” Ben said.</p><p>Over the next 6 months, Steph became a big part of their lives. She had the baby and created a beautiful family for 2 guys Pedro and Sam. They wept when their son Phillipe was handed to them.<br/>Steph was feeling good and had met the whole family, Lexi having a million questions for her, Lola, getting a good vibe and even Stuart was on board.<br/>Whitney had the baby, a little girl called Coco. Things with her new fella Seb had moved forward quickly and they had found a flat nearby and moved in together. Coco was now 6 weeks and Callum had popped round a couple of times to visit. This only increasing his desire for him and Ben to have a child.</p><p>It had all been going really well when Steph asked to meet Ben and Callum in the park in Walford one day, she wanted to talk.</p><p>“This is it” Callum said, sitting on the sofa head in hands. “She doesn’t want to do it”</p><p>“Cal, come on” Ben said sitting next to him, putting his arms around him. “Why wouldn’t she?”</p><p>“Because, because, I don’t know” Callum said sighing. “Maybe she doesn’t really like us?”</p><p>“Come on you” Ben said standing and grabbing Callum’s arm “Let’s go and find out”</p><p>Steph was sat on a bench near the swings as Ben and Callum approached hand in hand.</p><p>“Hey guys” she said looking up smiling. </p><p>“Hey” Ben said as Callum looked at the floor trying his best not to cry.</p><p>“What’s up?” Steph asked, concerned.</p><p>“Oh nothing” Ben said, swinging the hand that was locked with Callum’s. “This one is just terrified about what you are going to say.”</p><p>“Ben!” Callum said sharply.</p><p>“What? Cal, come on” Steph smiled “Obviously I am happy to be your surrogate”</p><p>“Really?” Callum said raising his eyes from the ground to look at Steph.</p><p>“Yeah, course. I just wanted to let you know that I am happy to start trying, if you guys are?”</p><p>Callum couldn’t stop the tears from falling, as Ben jumped on Steph, pulling her into a hug.</p><p>Steph jumped up, pulling Ben with her as they made a group hug.</p><p>“Looks like we’re going for it then?” She said laughing.</p><p>“Yeah” Ben said beaming.</p><p> </p><p>A year later in that same park, Ben came charging in carrying 2 large bags full of clothes, nappies, wipes, toys and any other baby related stuff.<br/>Callum gently pushed Sophia in her pram. “Babe, I don’t think that we needed all that stuff really, she’s only a month old”</p><p>“I know, but, it’s best to be prepared for every eventuality yeah?”</p><p>Callum laughed, “You are so cute, you know that?”</p><p>Ben smiled, leaning over into the pram and placing a gentle kiss on Sophia’s sleeping forehead. “I’m just happy, and want the very best for our little princess.”</p><p>Callum sat down on the bench, Ben joining him, intertwining their hands as they watched the older children charging about.</p><p>“We should enjoy the peace” Ben said. “Lex will be here in a bit. I hope Soph’s had enough sleep to cope with her excited big sis”</p><p>“She adores her you know that. Lex is the best thing in the world to Soph”</p><p>“I love them together” Ben said turning to Callum “And I love you”</p><p>“I love you too” Callum said smiling back at him.</p>
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